When someone you care about is going through fertility treatment, offering support is essential. However, it’s crucial to choose your words carefully, as certain comments can unintentionally hurt or invalidate their experience.
Here are five things not to say to someone undergoing fertility treatment, along with more empathetic alternatives:
1. “Don’t stress; I’m sure IVF will work.”
Offering assurances like “don’t stress” might not be comforting, as fertility treatments can be emotionally and physically challenging. Instead, show understanding by saying, “I know IVF can be stressful. Do you want to talk about it with me?”
2. “You can always adopt.”
While adoption is a valid option, suggesting it might oversimplify the complexity of fertility treatments. A better approach is, “I can’t imagine how tough this journey is. Do you want to share your feelings with me?”
3. “My friend’s cousin’s sister got pregnant right away. You just need to relax”
Comparisons can be hurtful. Instead, express interest by saying, “I’ve heard IVF is complex. Could you tell me more about the process?”
4. “Enjoy the parentless life while you can!”
Minimizing their desire for parenthood may make them uncomfortable. A respectful approach is, “I’d love to hear about your life. How are things going?”
5. “When are you going to have a baby?”
Fertility journeys are deeply personal. Avoid putting them on the spot with family planning questions. Instead, discuss other aspects of their life, like their hobbies or career.
Remember, showing empathy and being present for your loved one is often the best support you can provide. If you’re unsure about what to say, being a good listener can make a world of difference.
Ultimately, it’s about creating a safe and open space for them to share their feelings and experiences.