IVF is so much more than a medical process. It’s a season of uncertainty, vulnerability, and quiet resilience. It asks more of a person—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—than many will ever realize.
If you or someone you love is navigating this journey, you know: it’s not just about shots and schedules.
It’s about hope. And grief. And waiting. And trying again.
At Matrescence, we work with people who are moving through the most tender moments of fertility, motherhood, and everything in between. One of the most common things we hear is:
I just don’t know what to say. I don’t want to say the wrong thing.
So let’s talk about how to offer real, meaningful words of encouragement for someone going through IVF—and why your voice matters more than you know.
What to write to someone who is going through IVF?
When someone you care about is going through IVF, it can be hard to know what to say. You might feel unsure whether to offer advice, ask questions, or simply say you’re thinking of them. The truth is, there’s no perfect script—but there are ways to offer words that feel grounding and kind.
Here are some examples of words of encouragement for someone going through IVF that can help them feel seen:
“I know this journey is asking so much of you. You are showing up with so much courage, even when it’s hard.”
“I may not understand every detail, but I’m here. I’m listening. I care.”
“However this unfolds, you are not alone in it.”
“I’m holding hope with you. No matter what happens, you are worthy of gentleness and love.”
When you write to someone going through IVF, don’t worry about finding perfect phrases. What matters most is that your words reflect your presence. That you’re not rushing them to feel better.
That you’re not trying to “fix” it.
Your words don’t need to erase their pain. They just need to remind them they’re not carrying it alone.
How to wish someone the best for IVF?
Wishing someone well during IVF can feel delicate—because it is. You want to express hope without applying pressure. You want to encourage without implying expectations. And above all, you want your words to be a balm, not a burden.
When offering words of encouragement for someone going through IVF, try centering the person’s strength, not just the outcome.
Instead of “I just know it will work,” try:
“I’m hoping with you and thinking of you every step of the way.”
Instead of “You’ll be a mom in no time,” try
“I see how deeply you’re showing up for this dream. That’s something sacred.”
Instead of “Just stay positive” try
“It’s okay to feel everything. I’m here through all of it.”
The most powerful words are often the simplest. A message that says “I’m here, I see you, I believe in you” can mean everything. IVF can be isolating. Your gentle presence can offer a sense of togetherness in a time that feels anything but certain.
What to say to people struggling with IVF?
If someone you love is in the midst of IVF and struggling—whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually—it can be painful to witness. You want to show up, but you may feel like nothing you say could possibly be enough.
And you’re right. Your words won’t erase their exhaustion, their fear, or their grief. But they can be a soft place to land.
Here are a few words of encouragement for someone going through IVF who is feeling worn down by the process:
“This is really hard. I don’t have answers, but I have time. I can sit with you in it.”
“It’s okay to feel tired. It’s okay to feel discouraged. It’s okay to feel everything.”
“You don’t have to be hopeful all the time. I’ll hold the hope for both of us when you need to rest.”
“You are doing something incredibly brave—and it’s okay if that doesn’t feel true today.”
It’s also okay to ask what they need. Try something like, “Would it be helpful to talk about it today? Or would distraction feel better?” Let them lead. Let your care be flexible.
For more insights on how to support someone through this process, this article from Perelel Health offers helpful, compassionate advice:
What to give someone who is going through IVF?
Sometimes, you want to do more than say something—you want to give something. A gesture. A reminder. A gift that says: You matter. I see you.
Here are a few thoughtful ideas for someone navigating IVF:
- Comfort items: A soft blanket, a weighted eye mask, or a cozy pair of socks to wear to appointments.
- Affirmation cards or a journal: A space to process, reflect, or simply exhale.
- A meal delivery or grocery gift card: One less thing to think about on a hard day.
- A simple care package: Include snacks, tea, bath salts, or a handwritten note with your own words of encouragement for someone going through IVF.
- A non-fertility-related treat: A book, puzzle, or art kit—something that says, “You’re more than this process.”
The goal isn’t to fix.
It’s to offer a moment of softness in the midst of intensity. IVF is full of schedules, procedures, and expectations. A gift that speaks to someone’s humanity—not just their fertility journey—can be deeply meaningful.
For more on how this shows up in relationships and how to begin shifting the balance, read our earlier blog post:
What Not to Say to Someone Going Through Fertility Treatment.
Final Thoughts: What They Need Most Is Your Steadiness
IVF is not linear. It’s not fair. It’s not easy. It can be full of beautiful hopes and bitter disappointments, all within the same week—or day.
And people going through it don’t need perfection from you. They don’t need magic words.
They just need honesty. Consistency. Compassion.
They need to hear, again and again:
You are not alone.
You are more than this process.
You are doing something incredibly hard—and you are allowed to feel everything.
When you offer words of encouragement for someone going through IVF, let them come from your heart. Let them be imperfect. Let them be real.
At Matrescence, we believe that every person navigating IVF deserves support that honors both their grief and their hope.
Whether you’re going through it yourself or holding space for someone who is, we hope this reminds you that your presence matters.
Your tenderness matters. And your words—even the quiet, shaky ones—can make more of a difference than you know.